This is not an exclusively Christian blog. We even have a healthy smattering of agnostics and atheists. We pride ourselves on the fact that Christians, Muslims and people of many other faiths read this blog. But I woke up this morning with an urge to write about it and share it with you all. Is Satan (for I also still believe in him) rubbing his hands gleefully and notifying Hell Airlines to book me a one way ticket with immediate effect? I honestly don’t know (there’s that word again).
Is that enough? Can you still continue to function as a card carrying Christian without a church and without a Bible? Is Saint Peter presently scribbling furiously in the ‘negatives’ column of his big book as I type this. I still regard myself as a Christian, I still believe in God, I still try to lead a good life, I still pray. And do you know what’s worst of all? I don’t feel particularly guilty, ashamed or bothered. Was it burnout? Or perhaps the novel I am working on was draining my creative juices? Was it because I’m not a member of a church anymore? Was God punishing me for turning my back on ‘the church’? I haven’t a clue but whatever the reason it’s certainly been effective. Initially I thought I just needed a break. It’s as if the Holy Spirit has upped sticks and gone on an early Easter vacation. No passion, no startling revelations, no Charlton Hestonesque bolts of lightning from above. Words that I’ve read a hundred times before. Yes Job! That’s how desperate I am! But all to no avail. I’ve tried The Gospels, Proverbs, Psalms and even Job. NIV, The Message, NKJV, I’ve tried them all but there hasn’t been a spark. My Bibles (for I have several) have sat on the bookshelf gathering dust. People said I had a gift of interpretation, of analysing the text and drawing fresh learning from it that others could not see.īut of late there’s been nothing. I was even asked by the pastor to deliver sermons at the Sunday service. At our last church I led a youth group and house group where I regularly led Bible related discussions. I’ve read it regularly and thrived on the vivid story telling, imagery and themes within its pages. Yet when it comes to the most important book of them all, I’ve been left cold of late.Įven stranger is that for all the years I’ve been a Christian (five in May fact fans) I’ve always had a very healthy relationship with the Bible. I can’t sleep at night unless I’ve read at least a few pages. I’ve always got a book on the go, sometimes two.
My Kindle Fire is like an extra limb to me. I’m a Christian and I haven’t read my Bible in weeks…. So, in continuing my tradition of transparency and accountability, here’s another truth bomb for you all to chew on. For someone who had led such a dishonest existence for many years this is music to my years. Whenever I’ve asked people to describe my writing style the most frequent word I hear is ‘honesty’.
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